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Friday, October 1, 2010

OK, God, I hear you

Ever feel like God is trying to send you not so subtle messages? Well, this week has definitely been one of those and I feel like it has been a good week for self-reflection.

It all started Sunday after a dinner with the in-laws. I was aggravated with certain things and just needed some girlfriend time. Well, I was texting with one of my best girlfriends and we were joking back and forth about some things to kind of get my mind off things when I had a typical Katie scatter-brained moment.

Sometimes when I am doing one thing but thinking of another I combine the two and end up botching the whole thing. Well this time I was thinking of a particular person because of what my girl friend and I were talking about and thinking about how I needed to thank my in-laws for taking us to dinner and to make a long confusing story short, I sent what my friend and I had been joking about to my mother-in-law whom I meant to send the thank you text to. I hope you're following all this.

Anyway, it was just a big mess. Daniel of course feels I freaked out more than I needed to and just needed to talk to his mom, but if you know me you know I hate ever offending anyone or feeling like I let them down so I couldn't call because I was a sobbing mess.

Well, while it wasn't a gossipy text and it was just what my girlfriend and I had been talking about I soon saw God's message-- I need to learn to confront my problems.

I am notorious for just smiling and nodding and letting people walk all over me because I hate confrontation. Well, I guess God was telling me it's time to put on the proverbial big girl panties and start facing my problems head on. Daniel and I never have any arguments except over this point of contention and the fact that I had yet to speak up for myself to fix, so I think He was also trying to show me you need to get over your insecurities and do it not only for your own sanity but for a better household for all.

So, tomorrow I am going to try and talk to this person and let them know how I feel about the way they treat me and act toward my family, and I know that God will be there to give me strength and also the means of going about it so as to speak in a manner that will not shame Him, instead show His love and forgiveness for all. I know that sounds nuts to talk about when you are going to confront someone, but I know it can be done and I can approach it in a way that will make God shine through me to someone who I do not think is a believer.

I got another tap on the shoulder from God a few days after that when I couldn't find my right hand ring. Daniel and I literally tore our house apart before finally finding it. I had been shooting arrow prayers all day that God just let me find it. It wasn't the money that was fretting me (although that will definitely get you thinking did I really just lose ___ dollars through my carelessness) but it was what the ring stood for. It was my 1 year anniversary gift and Daniel and I really struggled through our first year of marriage and this ring was almost like a new promise ring that we were turning things around, refocusing on God and family and moving forward.

Well, after I found it the hidden message was clear. Get organized Katie. I don't think it was necessarily just my house He was talking about, but maybe life in general. There are a lot of things in my life that are unnecessary clutter-- from junk food to negative/gossipy people to my tendency to put things off. I think this was just His way of showing me I need to clean my act up and focus on what's really important.

I hear ya God, loud and clear. Thanks for the wake-up calls. Here's hoping that next time you don't have to speak so loud, because I promise I think I was borderline breakdown each of those times.

Isn't it funny how if we aren't listening for His quiet voice, sometimes we can get lost in all life's noise?

By the way the random picture was just for graphic appeal.... no real rhyme or reason... but check it out, it was the little guy's first day wearing shoes. :)

2 comments:

Courtney said...

Praying for you!! Let me know if you need anything! :)

Katie & Daniel said...

Thanks, lady. Dinner soon? Let me know when things slow down enough for you to catch a break and relax!